When I was a younger man, a smarter man, a better man, I dated a girl who was well out of my league. By way of excessive drink and careless swagger, she eventually left me for some chump who often played Xbox immediately after coitus and looked good in a suit. Many years and partners later, I ran into her, and a casual conversation revealed that she was a Habs fan (as am I), a fact either not in existence or not revealed to me during our dalliance. I felt hurt, betrayed, and more in love with her than I had been in the past. She told me the Xbox boy was gone, that she had moved on. After a brief exchange of pleasantries masking truth, we parted ways, but I couldn’t help but wonder where I had gone wrong, how I had lost a woman who loved Les Glorieux as I did. I felt more alone than I ever had. But I still had my Habs.

Now with the NHL lockout, we both have nothing. Thanks, hockey.

On to the Roundup…

• PLAY OF THE WEEK

There was only one play that mattered this week. Read what Andrew Forbes had to say about it here.

• BIPARTISAN SUCK

Donkeys and elephants (anyone understand those as icons of the parties? It’s weird, right?) agree. [Slate]

• SEX AND THE SUPERBUG

Athletes are notorious for engaging in unprotected sex (see: Cromartie, Antonio). They should no about the new gonorrhea. [The New Yorker]

• NEIL YOUNG  COMES CLEAN

San Jose Sharks season ticket holder Neil Young is god. [New York Times Magazine]

• ONION, BABY!

Congress takes a cue from communities held hostage for new stadia. [The Onion]

• BUTCH EDGE

I don’t know about y’all, but I have an affection for obscure one-time MLBers. (My stripper name was Kasey Kandaele). Butch Edge fits that bill. [Classical]

• E:60

ESPN’s Buster Olney with an E:60 on one-time Rockies’ prospect Ben Petrick, diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease after the 1999 season. [ESPN]

• HIGH HOLIDAY LINK

On Yom Kippur, 1965, Sandy Koufax refused to pitch Game 1 of the World Series. [Jews in Sports]

• TWITTERER TWEET OF THE WEEK

https://twitter.com/DaveMcGimpsey/status/250997496409632769

• TOP 5 SEARCH TERMS FROM LAST WEEK USED TO FIND THE BARNSTORMER

1. “women fighting guys in montreal”
2. “cristiano morning boners” (twice)
3. “wrestling between big women and men”
4. “is aussie rules the most boring sport in the world”
5. “fuck quebec separatists”

• SONG OF THE WEEK