The Barnstormer has secured the cooperation of a locked-out NHL player who has agreed to document each day he is kept out of action on the condition that we do not reveal his identity. Ever. Read all the daily diary entries of “Cheapthroat” here.

7:55AM — Bed. Been up all night on the NHL2K12. Fatty Damascus got a call-up late in the season. I was elated to say the least. He battled hard in a late run for the playoffs with the Leafs but fell short in the last game. He got two helpers on the third line and a shitload of penalties. Burkey none impressed. Sent back down to minors for playoff run on the second line and PP. Just goes to show…with a little hard work, anything is possible.  He’s sized up a bit too. Might take him through a cycle this summer when there’s no drug testing.

3:00PM — Wake up. Brunch at [deleted]. Had a glass of wine with lunch I mean brunch. In the big city you can drink wine with brunch. Not in my hometown, and especially not when you look like me.

4:15PM — Think I’ll grow a lockout beard.

5:30PM — Agent calling again with offers to play in Europe. Just don’t know. got some good scrimmages going here with a local squad. Never been to Europe but I own the Bourne Trilogy which I can almost recite by heart.

7:30PM — Sportsnet. Big Red Sox game tonight. I hope they lose. I hope everyone in Boston loses. Boston, I hate everything about your city right down to your Tea Party and it’s all because of your fucking hockey team. I hope Lucic dies in a fire. Not actually, but sometimes actually.

8:14PM — Trying out some Jamie Oliver recipes.

9:47PM — Small fire. Mopped floors. Made note to get extinguisher. Ordered pad thai and a large pizza. NY/Sox game is tight.

1:00AM — Heh. Suck it Boston. Just suck it.

1:30AM — Took the Michael Rydesbike for a rip. Got caught in the tram tracks and planted pretty hard. Not. My. Day. Few scrapes, but hell it’s a mountain bike. Will play more 2K12, start by paying my Bettman character and seeing if I can get him concussed a few more times. Then will move on to Fatty Damascus. Maybe I’ll play a few exhibition games in Europe and see how it feels. Can feel the first grains of the lockout beard coming in. Will see how long this gets.

Further Reading:

• “Cheap Throat: The Diary of a Locked-Out NHLer“. Read all the other entries here.
• “Complicit in the NHL’s Demise: How the NHL & its players hate hockey, and how the fan is at fault” by Mike Spry
• The Barnstormer’s Take Hockey Back fan protest event