The Barnstormer has secured the cooperation of a locked-out NHL player who has agreed to document each day he is kept out of action on the condition that we do not reveal his identity. Ever. Read all the daily diary entries of “Cheap Throat” here.

9:46AM — I’m officially done on NHL2K12. Played til 4am. Was out six months with that concussion and the age of 46 then blew a knee out in my second year in Moose Jaw after I got sent down. It was a good run. No regrets really. Maybe wish I’d slept with more women Moose Jaw. I know, it’s just a game. But you get right into it. Not sure what to do now. Maybe take a year off to spend with the kids. Then maybe get into coaching. See if I can GM a squad. Will think about it over breakfast. 

10:10AM — Was wondering what all that clicking was. It was dad cutting tomatoes for omelettes on the iPad.

1:30PM — Took the dirt bike out for a rip. Colours in full bloom. Even saw a moose. Should write a poem about it. Like about all the colours and the moose and fall and nature as seen through the goggles of a dirtbike. Maybe try and get it published. Maybe just keep it on the iPhone.

4:55PM — Dad does steaks on the Q. Tries to explain difference between Pale Ale and Keiths. Gets mad that Keiths is allowed to call it Pale ale. Dad knows steaks on the Q, but cares too much about beer. He’s getting grey more. And skinnier a bit. I wish the lockout would end so he could come to more games.

4:57PM — Text from Mum. Wants me to cosign for loan for a house. Says she and the girls can flip it fast. Booming market in Cornwall. I tell her I’ll just buy the house and she can pay me back. She asks at what rate. Jesus.

8:50PM — Dad says Tommy from Alice looks like Peter Forsberg. Swears it’s even him. Then passes out.

9:00PM — I should head back to the city soon.

9:10PM — I should not text my cousin.

9:11PM — I text cousin to see if she wants to hang. Nothing. Will wait. Maybe she’s out. Or in the shower.

11:10PM — Late night run. I keep doing this. Running alone at night. So many thoughts. Had an awesome line for a poem but forgot it on the way home. Went looking for poems in Dad’s book shelf. Found lots of Tom Clancy. Why doesn’t Dad just watch the movies instead. Note to self: Get Dad dvd of every Tom Clancy book made into a film.

11:20PM — Dad has every Tom Clancy book ever made into a film on VHS. Will get him BluRay. No. Better. Will download them on the iPad tonight so he can watch the when he makes omelettes.

11:35PM — Sportsnet: NFL sings their refs, basically. NBA reaches agreement. Baseball never been healthier. Bettman is killing hockey. I’ll say it again. Bettman is killing hockey.

1:05AM — Pushups. Shower. Shit. Not in that order. Gross. Bed.

Further Reading:

• “Cheap Throat: The Diary of a Locked-Out NHLer“. Read all the other entries here.
• “Complicit in the NHL’s Demise: How the NHL & its players hate hockey, and how the fan is at fault” by Mike Spry
• The Barnstormer’s Take Hockey Back fan protest event