Cheap Throat: The Diary of a Locked-Out NHLer, Day 29
by Cheap Throat • October 16, 2012 • Cheap Throat, Hockey • 10 Comments
The Barnstormer has secured the cooperation of a locked-out NHL player who has agreed to document each day he is kept out of action on the condition that we do not reveal his identity. Ever. Read all the daily diary entries of “Cheap Throat” here.
11:00AM — Got a handy from a Lebanese guy at the mall this morning. Xperia S. Nice wide screen.
12:33PM — Train to Germany. Had to leave France after I nearly strangled a French person. Maybe it’s a Paris thing. Played with tons of French Canadians. They’re fine. They’re not France French. Not generalizing. Not all French people are pricks. Just the ones from France.
12:35PM — Don’t even get Dad started about French Canadians. Even though he was a big Lemieux fan and his favourite goalie is Marty Brodeur. But still a bad idea. Bad bad idea. I hate Marty Brodeur. Only goalie I can’t seem to score on, pretty much. Rattled a handful of the bars. But never crossed the line. Therefore, Marty Brodeur is a prick. Dad still talks about the save that saved Canada in Salt Lake. Yeah Dad. Kick save. We all saw it.
12:36PM — Mum is French Canadian. Dad made a few off-the-cuff comments pre-trial separation of 1997 that didn’t bode well for him. She called him racist. Dad said if French Canadian is a race then it’s a race to the bottom. I laughed when he said it. Then I remembered I’m half French Canadian.
12:45PM — Racism is like golf. If you’re in it to win it you’re not going to make any friends. But if you’re just out to hit some balls around with buds, and buds only, it can be a lot of fun. If you’re Italian and I call you a WOP, it means I’d take a bullet for you and trust you with my kids. If you’re Italian and I don’t know you that well, and you slash me or run me into the boards, I’ll just call you a fuckin’ prick and take your number down for next time we’re on the ice.
3:55PM — Slammed a Becks just cuz. So…Why Germany? Reason one – it was the first train out of Paris. Two: Feel like heckling some Flyers, namely Briere and Giroux and I hear Eric Jose Chouinard is there too as is Brett Fistering and they’re both about to get an earful. Will bring baseball heckling to new German heights.
3:56PM — Looks okay from the train. A bit like the Sault or Windsor.
7:55PM — Train pulling into the station. Berlin. Text Dad. He says not to take any shit from those Germans.
8:08PM — Took me 10 minutes to properly pronounce Haubtbanhof. Opened map on handy to see where the hotel is. This will not be easy. Street names are long like the alphabet is long. Hotel near a place called Unter der Linden. Hoping to see some sights from Bourne Ultimatum. So maybe that was reason 3 and maybe also reason 1.
8:55PM — Hotel. So far so good. Wi-Fi works. Bevvies in the fridge. Looks like there’s bars everywhere. Already seen some sights from Bourne Ultimatum from cab. Pretty cool. Will unwind for a bit then go for a walk. Take some night photos. Drink a German beer. They basically invented the stuff, right?
9:00PM — Wanna know a secret about players? We read what you write. We read the blogs. When you talk shit about a player he reads it. He’ll say he doesn’t but when you’re up in the middle of the night on a roader and you’re sitting on the tarmac or bussing to the hotel, it doesn’t take long to google yourself. So…before I go take in some of these sights, sit at a bar, maybe chat up a lady, or ride one of those cool looking streetcars, just wanna say on behalf of all us players who work really really hard all our life to follow our dream and have to move away from our families and lose our friends and always worry that we’ll get traded and worry if our wives or girlfriends will go with us when it happens and worry that the present injury will be the last and it will be all over….to all you bloggers and sports writers who think you know everything and write about us like we’re illiterate people who will never read….
Fuck you.
There.
That one’s from me and all the boys in the show.
Further NHL Lockout Reading:
- “Cheap Throat: The Diary of a Locked-Out NHLer“. Read all the other entries here.
- “A Fan’s Note: How to Fix the NHL” by Mike Spry
- “Complicit in the NHL’s Demise: How the NHL & its players hate hockey, and how the fan is at fault” by Mike Spry
- The Barnstormer’s Take Hockey Back fan protest event
I don’t feel bad ONE bit for this guy who leaves his family to PLAY A DAMN GAME while making MILLIONS. My husband leaves his family to fight overseas and dodge bullets. To the NHL player in disguise, if you really do read what we write, I hope you read this, and I hope you suck it the hell up. You wonder if your girlfriend will follow you to a trade. You worry about leaving your family to go follow your dreams. Want to know something? I WISH my husband would leave just to play a game…he leaves to go to war. You want to know MY worry? If he comes home, will he be dead or alive? Want to know something else, too? He does it and makes in one year what most of you make in ONE DAY…and you have the balls to argue over money. I get it, Bettman is a dick…NO ONE likes him. But you know what? Fuck YOU, good sir. Fuck you even more if the NHLPA doesn’t accept the 50/50 offer.
This one is for all the fans who scrape together what they have to contribute to your paycheck by purchasing overpriced tickets and other NHL/team related merchandise because we LOVE our team and we LOVE this sport.
Oh, and by the way, heckle all G and Briere all you want, pussy. At least they can score on Brodeur.
Hey Cheap Throat, the true hockey fan understands how dedicated, skilled, and emotionally tough an NHL player has to be to even get a sniff at a good career. We understand that it’s not easy to come from “small town” working class to big money big city and all the pitfalls presented by that. We understand that a life of looking over your shoulder, counting your minutes, playing with pain, living on the road, being competitive every day and slugging it out in the gym during the summer, takes a special determination that few of us can muster. Unfortunately part of the deal for you is to deal with all the shit. There are several ways to do that, and you’ve chosen to be angry.
You are remunerated in a manner that behooves you to eat that shit, and no, it can’t be pleasant, but it’s got to be done. The truly classy rise above the classless. The bottom line is you know what you are capable of, what it takes to stay in the show, and how hard it’s been to get there. It matters what people say and write about you on an emotional level, and it’s good to feel emotional about it, but the reaction to your emotion is what you will be judged by. I’m hoping you are able to reel it in a bit the next time you feel that way, and I’m hoping that you solve Brodeur this year, or you may never have the chance.
Stay healthy, relax, reel in your reactions, and be classy.
Well said..
Dear NHL player,
Please take the 5 minutes out of your life to read this from a fan who took 30 minutes to write this.
I’ve “liked” a page on facebook that shares a lot of your posts about the lockout. Recently you posted about the internet on day 29 of the lockout, 9pm about the media and fans who talk about players etc., you know the one that Im talking about so I wont waste my time.
To be honest, that post straight up pissed a lot of people off. Talking about how you worry about what your girl is doing back home and worrying about being traded. Talking about how the media and fans talk behind your back online, and having to read it so “fuck them” for having an opinion. Guess what, you chose this profession. You knew that the moment you signed your million dollar + contract. Before you complain about being a professional athlete, guess what, WE read things like this too. The spectrum works both ways. And for someone who gets paid more in one year than I will probably ever make in my lifetime really jerks my fucking dick.
I understand your frustration, I honestly understand it completely. I know you probably aren’t originally from the United States, but please leave all politics aside when I tell you this, and just see things from my point of view. I was in the U.S. Army. I signed a contract just like you did. I signed a contract knowing I would be far away from my girl, family and friends. Not only on the other side of the world, but getting shot at as well. Shot at on a daily basis. You think having Chara coming at you full speed is bad? Try a .50 cal machine gun round that creates a vortex so strong that it can literally rip your head off, even if the bullet misses you by a few inches.
I also know where you come from about being scrutinized by the media and public all the time. I came home after combat to an airport of mostly supportive people. I say mostly because there were a few percent of the people that wanted to be cock suckers and curse at me, throw shit at me, you name it. Similar to being in the NHL and dealing with fans and media right? You have a lot of your home crowd supporting you but a few bad apples always want to stir the pot.
You spoke about injuries. Once again I understand your point of view. I also played College hockey after the army and had season ending rotator cuff surgery. It sucks dick.
However, the difference between me and you other than pure hockey skill (which i am totally jealous of) is the fact that you complained about it when you make more money in 82 games than I will in my whole life. I know you worked your ass off for that, and congrats. But don’t go online spouting out about how shitty it is. I know money doesnt buy everything, but god damn…
Thanks for taking the time to read this if you actually did, Good luck, stay healthy.
Yikes, people. Relax. He wasn’t sobbing about how bad he has it, simply that it’s not all roses, and how it’s frustrating to have people who don’t know you or your story judge you. Yes, it’s part of being in the public eye. Yes, they are well compensated. Yes, they get to do what they love. But this doesn’t mean they are immune to worry and frustration and pain. They’re just people; it is this concept that this blog makes beautifully clear. Like you’ve never complained about anything your own first world problems? Or taken things for granted? We all do.
Dear Cheap Throat,
Keep being fucking hilarious and saying your “Fuck Bettmans…..” Thank you for making my work day more interesting.
-A fan of the NHLPA players.
jeez if our lives where even close to “perfect” we would still complain about the one thing that makes it not… It is in our nature to want that shit gone and we bitch about it.. We have a right to complain and shame on anyone that thinks they know someone elses life and how hard/easy it might be.. look down once.. yep those are your shoes your in not theirs.. ps. soldier much respect bud and Nhl player hope the puck drops soon, stay classy and enjoy the family time we rarely do that enough
This is a good read. Thanks. I hope you guys are back on the ice in the NHL soon. I miss the hell out of the game. I probably haven’t talked any shit about you unless you are on Vancouver.
He said he got a handy from a guy at the mall. Hhahahahaha.