Another week, another round of PED suspensions. This week it was Jays’ prospect and 2012 1st round pick Marcus Strolman, who some scouts predicted would be the first 2012 draftee to make it to the majors, perhaps even this weekend when MLB rosters expand. Instead, he’ll spend the rest of this season and the first 43 games of next season trying to figure out how Ryan Braun got away with it. I once spent 43 games trying to figure out how best to mix Bud Light Lime, vodka, and tears.
On to the Roundup…
- Play of the Week
Greatest. Rendition. Of. O. Canada. Ever. But does it count as bilingual?
- Oh, Romo
Tony Romo wasn’t drafted, spent some time nestled in the fissure between Jessica Simpson’s breasts, had a bad hold, and now feels the warm breath of Kyle Orton on his neck. [D Magazine]
- Scully is God
Vin Scully will return for a 64th season with the Dodgers. The living legend has called it all. Here’s look back at a 2011 piece on Scully and his greatest calls. [GQ]
- Spaceman Bests Rocket
While everyone was all a titter about Roger Clemens pitching 3-and-a-third innings without PED testing, Bill ‘Spaceman’ Lee pitched a complete game at 65. [SF Chronicle]
- Arthur on Armstrong
Bruce Arthur is an underappreciated Canadian writer, consistently providing some of the best reads on sport anywhere. Here’s his take on Lance Armstrong, who incidentally once dated an Olsen twin. Armstrong. I don’t know much about Arthur’s dating past. [National Post]
- Cheaters Make for Good Copy
Lance Armstrong, Ashley Madison, the MIT blackjack team…here’s a collection of essays on cheaters. Interestingly, it does not include any pieces on my ex-girlfriends. [Longform via Slate]
- The Blue Jays Are So Bad People Are Dying
Is this the worst Jays’ season ever? Not only did their pitching staff require more attention than my ex after three gin and tonics, but the other week a guy had a heart attack at the a game and died. And on Sunday, another Jay’s fan died after getting punched following an argument about their pitchers. Someone make sure BJ Birdie isn’t binge drinking. [CP24]
- Little Man Syndrome
Gary Bettman is 4’7’’, hates Canada, and eats live kittens for breakfast. He’s also a terror in the bedroom, I mean boardroom. Or so says Michael Grange. [Sportsnet]
- Back to School
Most of you will spend this weekend buying new clothes and schoolbooks for your bratty and ungrateful children. Why not buy a few less iPads for iKids and contribute to 826 National, an organization that tries to foster the readers and writers of tomorrow. [826 National]
- Twittererer Tweet of the Week
- Song of the Week
Forbes is away consulting with the Washington Nationals on what to do with Stephen Strasburg’s innings count (shouldn’t it be a pitch count?) so the Song of the Week this week is all Spry, so natch it’s Bon Iver.
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